Christmas in a Thai Wonderland

           It is only a few days until Christmas and instead of being home in Los Angeles where garlands and Christmas lights line the houses and streets and the Christmas classics fill the airwaves, I’m here in a small town in Thailand.  In general, most Thai’s don’t celebrate Christmas given that they’re Buddhist although there is a small minority of Thai Christians.  While it is a bit of a lonely feeling to know that everyone is celebrating the holiday season back home, I’ve been surprised to find little tidbits of Christmas cheer around me in the most unexpected places.

            For starters, a few weeks ago, all of the teachers in my department began randomly singing Christmas songs together in our tiny office one day.  I was shocked by how many songs they knew!  One of the Thai teachers loves to sing “Silver Bells” with a silly bravado every day which makes us all laugh every time.  It was fun to sing the songs of my childhood and it made me laugh but it did also make me wish that I was “home for the holidays”.

For over a month now, I’ve been teaching a different Christmas song to each grade “We wish you a Merry Christmas” for Prathom 1, “Two front teeth” for Prathom 2 and “Santa Claus is coming to town” for Prathom 3.  Not the entire songs, but one or two verses.  Can I just tell you that I have probably sung these songs hundreds and hundreds of times in the last month (reminds me of being home and hearing the same ten songs on repeat on the radio!)  I have sang these songs for the students more times than I can count as well as reviewed the lyrics regularly and as to be expected, there are still many kids who watch my overly pronounced mouth as I annunciate every single word and then mumble through the whole thing with their cute Thai accents.  It’s pretty funny to hear “(mumble mumble mumble)” followed by a booming “…Santa Claus is coming to town”. 

            Some restaurants and shops do have small Christmas trees and decorations set up and I was truly touched and shocked when I saw a beautiful Christmas tree made of lights in the center of Phayao.  It definitely brought the Christmas spirit to my heart.  This week, I began singing and acting out “The 12 Days of Christmas” for every single class.  It has been exhausting since I have twenty two classes but it’s also the most fun I’ve had with my classes to date and the amount of joy on their faces and roaring giggles coming from my students showed me that they felt the same way.  

Phayao's beautiful Christmas tree!

            Last but not least, on Christmas day which is a workday, our department is putting together a little show for all the students.  A few of us teachers are still deciding on a song but we will be performing, the students will sing a song that each grade has learned, there will be an excerpt from the true Christmas story and there will be “Christmas games” including limbo and something like pin the hat on Santa Claus.  As I write this, I’m hearing girls from grade 5 singing and dancing to “Jingle Bell Rock” in the next room over.  So in the words of the students “Merry Christmas!  And happy New Year!!!”…from Thailand.  I hope that this holiday season finds you all well.  God bless.         

Angry bird Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Analyze this.

 

            Living among a culture where you truly have no idea what’s going on or being said 98% (I like to give myself credit for that 2%!) of the time puts one in an interesting position.  You go from being a full participant in society to more of an observer role.  Observation becomes the name of the game as there really isn’t much else to do.  I find that I’m constantly standing back and observing facial expressions, social interactions between co-workers, students, restaurateurs and shop owners with their customers as well as behavior between the opposite sexes.  In order to be successful in another country, I feel that you must become a keen observer.  It is somewhat of a monkey see monkey do situation.  You learn to watch for standard behavior and follow suit. 

            For instance, when people tell me “Thais always do this” and “Thais don’t like that”, I like to then look for examples of that within my daily life and compare the notes to find whether the generalizations are true or not.  While I’ve never been big on generalizing an entire group on people based on the opinions of a few, even if they are Thai themselves (I mean come on, I was a freaking Women’s Studies major in school!), I have to admit that many of these sweeping statistics have turned out to be true in my own observations.

These are a few of them:

-Thais don’t understand you when you speak Thai unless it’s absolutely 100% perfect.

You will swear that your pronunciation is correct but they will look at you often like “what the heck did you just say??”

-Thais can easily fall asleep anywhere! 

Even on 12 hour bus rides when they blast annoying poppy Thai music at midnight.  Those Thais just keep on sawing logs.

-Thais are very generous people.

This is utterly and completely true.  Thais give gifts and strangers offer to pay for your meal constantly.  They’re very giving people.

-Thai children AND adults pick their noses in public as it’s not considered rude here.

Yep, this one is very true and pretty comical (although a little gross in my opinion) to see!

-Thai couples don’t openly show affection in public.

I have not seen couples so much as hold hands in public which is fascinating to me!

-Thais love their King.

I haven’t met one who doesn’t.

-Thais don’t like expressions of individuality.  Sticking out as an individual is not considered a good thing.

I find this to be true particularly in the education system.  The Thai teachers teach the students that you don’t ask questions because that’s disrespecting authority (usually they are hit for this), and both your handwriting and uniform must be absolutely perfect (even university students wear uniforms).  Imagine demanding that 6 year olds (especially boys!) don’t get their uniform dirty or disheveled?  Yeah, um… good luck with that one Thailand!  Also, the students are taught to use a ruler to write everything so a simple writing assignment can end up taking the entire class period which is frustrating when you’re trying to move through a lesson. 

-Thais laugh at nearly everything.

This also seems to be true.  Even when you’re telling a serious story.  They particularly laugh when a farang attempts to speak Thai!  They think it’s hilarious when I attempt to say anything beyond “sawadee ka”.    

A few that I absolutely do NOT find to be true:

-Thais don’t like loud noises.

My students would prove otherwise.  As would the crazy amount of fireworks that people set off daily, often right next to you as you walk by.

-Thailand is an extremely conservative country.

While I think this is somewhat true, Thailand is full of dualism and contradictions.  While showing shoulders is considered supposedly scandalous, Thai traditional clothing often shows one shoulder and Thai women often show enough leg in daily life to put L.A. girls to shame.  Another observation I had on Sports day at my school was that the girls from Prathom 1 through 6 were dressed scantily clad in revealing cheerleading outfits and covered in enough hairspray and makeup to make them look like little, I hate to say it, but baby prostitutes.  It was very similar to that pageant show "Toddlers and Tiaras".  Sorry if it’s awful and offensive to use the word "prostitute" to describe little kids but honestly it was strange to see them dressed in such outrageous clothes AND do provocative dance moves with their hips gyrating all over the place.  I felt like I was watching a Pussycat Dolls performance or something but instead I was at an elementary school!  Thailand is also a country where human trafficking is a serious issue and prostitution is rampant from the massage parlors to karaoke bars to the streets.  Prostitution is everywhere, not just in Bangkok but even here in my little town. 

Another and probably the most uplifting observation I’ve made in the time I’ve been here is that there are expressions of love that are the same despite cultural difference.  While Thais are not known for openly expressing emotions in public, I see examples of love all over my town.  I see delighted grandmothers cuddling and laughing with their baby grandchildren, young friends at school holding hands and skipping down the hallways, and families having picnics down by the lake—savoring each other’s company along with their food and openly expressing affection with one another.  When I witness these and other examples, even on my most lonely days, I can’t help but smile.  It is nice to be reminded that love is a universal phenomenon that despite our differences unites and connects us all. 

Chooay Dooay!

            I had a pretty frightening experience in Phayao the other day.  I was going for a jog down by the lake which is where I work out often.  The lake is the busiest part of town because on one side of the street is the lake and the other side is jam packed with restaurants, bars and shops.  People and families are always hanging out in crowds and groups down there so it has a very safe feel to it.  I had not yet felt unsafe in Thailand, especially in Phayao, until the other night.

            I was jogging on the sidewalk among other joggers when I noticed that a man was riding his motorbike extremely close to me on the sidewalk.  Now I have seen Thais drive on the sidewalk during heavy traffic hours so I assumed he was trying to get around me.  So I moved to the side in order to let him through, but he didn’t move forward.  He continued to drive slowly right behind me.  I was very confused what he was doing at first.  I questioned it in my mind.  Is he picking someone up over here?  Is he just curious about this “farang” he sees and wants to have a conversation as many people in town do?  Does he know the other joggers that are next to me?  Soon enough I realized that he was in fact following me and not in a “just trying to be friendly” kind of way.  When I started running fast, he sped up.  When I slowed down, he slowed down.  This went on for a few minutes but it felt like eternity.  I had my headphones on so I was not able to hear if he was attempting to talk to me and at that point, I didn’t care to hear a word from him. 

            My heart started to beat rapidly as I realized that I didn’t have my cell phone with me so I wasn’t able to call any of my Thai or foreign friends in town and I was a good distance from home.  I began to boil with anger that not only was he following me but he wasn’t even trying to be discreet about it.  I then quickly ducked into a local bar which I happen to know the owners of.  I ran to the bathroom and waited a few minutes hoping he would be gone when I left.  I didn’t see the owner of the bar and I knew that no one else probably knew English so I decided to leave the bar. 

I thought for a moment that maybe he was gone, but unfortunately I saw the old creepy man leaning against a tree across the street staring at me.  As I continued running, now on the opposite side of the street from him, I really began to question how I was going to get out of this situation.  He continued to ride along and look over while maintaining my pace.  I felt extremely violated and angry.  I could not believe the nerve of this man!  I finally began yelling and motioning at him “Go away!  Leave me alone!”  I decided that even if he didn’t understand me, he would notice my tone and be embarrassed at his behavior.  Not the case at all!  He continued to stay at my pace although he was now on the opposite side of the street.  I questioned bee-lining it up to a bar close by where I know a lot of the regulars and the majority speak English.  But I wasn’t sure what would happen on the way there as I obviously could not outrun him.  

It was a very lonely experience knowing that most of the people on the street wouldn’t understand me even if I attempted to explain the situation.  I felt very alone like I couldn’t even ask for help.  But as he continued to follow and basically stalk me, I felt that I should take my chances of miscommunication and try to let someone know what was going on.  At this point, it had been almost ten minutes of this. 

I ran by a couple and something told me that I could trust them.  Sure enough they were very friendly and when I looked closely while talking to them, I realized that the man was wearing a Phayao Police department jacket and he happened to be one of the chiefs of Phayao police.  I attempted to explain what was going on with the man.  Luckily my Thai friends had taught me how to say “help me!” in Thai recently (chooay dooay!) so I was able to use that to let them know that I was in danger.  They didn’t speak English but I was able to use charades and a few Thai words I know to show them that I was feeling unsafe.  At first I think they thought I had hit my head while running as they continued to motion a movement that indicated an injury but after a few minutes and when the other man was still lurking at me from across the street (even while talking to them!) they understood what was going on.  The woman was very loving and nurturing and immediately took my hand and put me behind her in a protective way as if to say “You’re safe now, I won’t let anything happen to you”.  It was such a sigh of relief as the policeman then went across the street to talk to the man.  I’m not sure what conversation occurred between the two men but the creeper rode off shortly.  The policeman and his wife then drove me home to my apartment which made me feel a lot better as the idea of walking the rest of the way home did not sound too appealing at that point. 

When pulling up to the apartment, the couple spoke to my English speaking neighbor who then told me to be very careful and to always have my phone with me and to be careful going anywhere alone.  I profusely thanked the couple and despite the fact that hugging isn’t a very Thai thing to do, I squeezed the woman tight as I was so incredibly grateful for not only their assistance but also for the protective motherly energy the woman gave me. 

It was a very surreal and strange experience.  Maybe I have been naive to have felt so safe in Thailand or even in my little town, but my bubble definitely violently burst as I realized that I should err on the side of caution whether I like it or not.  I’m grateful for the kindness of strangers but being stalked in public is something I will not soon forget.   

Home Sweet Home

It’s funny when you begin to question where “home” really is.  What is it exactly that we crave when we are “homesick?”  Is it our friends and family, our routines, the actual house we live in, the feeling of belonging or is “home” actually a state of mind that we tend to idealize when away?  In my town Phayao, due to not having too much of a social life, I have a lot of time to reflect on these types of questions.  I’ve been pondering this as last week was the first time that I felt extremely homesick, to the point that I questioned going home.  I even called the company I work for to discuss this with them (FYI these feelings have come and gone).  When I visualized my life in Thailand, I pictured myself making a solid attempt to fully integrate into the Thai culture and I had the goal to make a large circle of Thai friends, despite the language barrier.  It has not been quite as simple as that.

Although the Thai teachers are amazing and easy to connect with, many of them lead busy lives outside of school and don’t have a lot of time to get together.  The other Thai friends I’ve made are really lovely, but at times it takes so much effort to communicate (even when they speak English) that hanging out feels more like work than a relaxing time among friends. 

Now that I’ve been in Thailand for a few months and have made many foreign friends, I feel extremely isolated from them.  I long for the company of “farang” because I notice the stark difference hanging out with Thais.  I miss easy and free flowing communication, little nuances and jokes that only native speakers or extremely advanced English speakers truly understand.  It makes it difficult to fully relate or be on the “same page” at times. 

            So due to these feelings, last weekend I got on a 12 hour bus ride with the purpose of getting together with a big group of people from our teacher’s training group.  Without going into the details of the weekend, what I discovered is that while I had a pretty good time overall, the crappy feelings I’ve been feeling lately didn’t just disappear.  I realized that I’ve been seeking fulfillment from outside sources which always gets me into trouble.  The truth is that other people can never truly complete or satisfy our needs.  I came to the awareness that being placed away from people I’m comfortable with and other security blankets is a true opportunity.  I can look at this as an unfortunate situation and decide to book it or I can view it as an opportunity to center myself, reflect on my life and what’s really going on inside of me as well as pray, meditate, journal, read and connect with God.  It was an amazing AHA moment for me and I’m grateful for it.

            Another interesting discovery was that when everyone left and I had Monday all by myself in a lonely busy city, I was not homesick for my home in L.A. but instead I longed for my little beautiful scenic town of Phayao.  This weekend away allowed me to see that without even realizing it, Phayao has become my home and what a sweet home it is.         

      

Maybe I'm the one with the "Thai smile"

Thailand is known worldwide as the “Land of Smiles” which is a very endearing name that can actually be somewhat misleading.  Thai people smile all the time and while it is easy as a foreigner to conclude that Thais are some of the happiest and friendliest people in the world, I’ve learned that it isn’t quite as simplistic as that. Thais smile when they’re happy of course but they also smile as a way to hide the more unpleasant emotions including embarrassment, anger and I’m assuming even sadness as openly showing emotion in public in Thailand is not considered appropriate.  Saving face is of utmost importance in Thai culture and smiles are often a way to cover up what’s really going on underneath.  Therefore, the term “Thai smile” comes into play.

For the first time since I’ve been in Thailand, I’m beginning to have pretty intense bouts of homesickness.  Even more than being homesick, I’m feeling many of the same stresses and insecurities as I was back home for the last year. I’ve been obsessing nonstop about figuring out my career path and ways to make a “good” salary.  This was exactly what I obsessed about for the last two years to no avail hence why I made the deliberate choice to have a traveling adventure instead.   

The novelty of being here is beginning to wear off.  What was first new and interesting is beginning to feel a bit tired and downright frustrating at times.  I’ve been experiencing intense swings between being elated to feeling incredibly anxious and awful and like I want to find the earliest flight home to Los Angeles.  I know that all of this alone time I have is an opportunity to confront these feelings and fears head-on and stop avoiding them.  Instead of continually eating ice cream or Pad Thai, I could just sit and be present with the uncomfortable feelings.  Just dive completely into it and stop resisting it.  Yet so far, I haven’t quite chosen to do that.

In my town, I have friends but I don’t feel that I can truly open up and on the hard days of teaching and the lonely days that have me fighting back tears, I often feel that I’m the one wearing the “Thai smile”.  I often feel that I should be happy all through this experience but as my friend Melanie advises, “stop should-ing all over yourself!”  I tell myself, “come on Maddy, you’re living in Thailand and you have the freedom to keep traveling the world if you so desire”.  I think to myself, this is the kind of opportunity that a lot of people would kill for so just be grateful and happy dammit!  But as I’ve learned, life is full of the ups and down, whether you’re in your hometown or in a small town in Northern Thailand. 

Pretty Pretty Thai Princess

The Loi Krathong festival was this week and it was one of the most fun days I’ve experienced here yet!  The (extremely) short explanation of Loi Krathong is that it is a day to pay respects to the water gods through the making of krathongs (miniature floats that you put onto the water) which always falls on a full moon night.  The impression I’ve gotten so far is that Thai festivals are kind of like American holidays on steroids.  Everyone really gets into it by dressing up in Thai traditional dress, showing a significant amount of patriotism and enthusiasm and setting off enough fireworks to make the average Fourth of July celebration look quite boring to be frank.  Somehow I was volunteered to dress up as what my co-workers kept calling a “Thai princess.” I’m not really sure why or how the name “princess” came into play as it was actually just traditional Thai women’s clothing (without a crown unfortunately!)  But when asked to dress up in beautiful clothing and avoid all morning classes, I didn’t hesitate for a second.  For years I’ve been dying to wear an Indian sari and although it was Thai instead of Indian, it was a very similar look.  I just so happen to be the height and size of the average Thai woman which is one of the many reasons that my coworker and I joke that I may have some Thai genes in me (doubtful…actually very doubtful in reality but fun to joke about!)

There are a few other reasons why we joke about this.  First off, I have very fair skin.  I love the girly, cutesy style that girls and women here wear (basically a lot of frilly, lacey, floral prints, bows and the color pink) which other Westerners often don’t.  I get cold easily and Thais always seem to be cold.  They wear long sleeves when it’s 90 degrees outside.  Kids actually wear puffy snow jackets to school when it’s below 80 degrees and I have students telling me they’re cold in class while I’m sweating all over!  My favorite color is pink which happens to be the “King’s color” so people wear it all the time to honor him.  I love spicy food and constantly have Thai people asking me “you can eat that??” in shock because they think most farangs can’t handle spice.  And the biggest indication that I might be a little Thai is that I eat ALL the time and I’m hungry every few hours which as I’ve observed is a very Thai thing.  Many of them eat for days and yet they’re still tiny and petite.  Oh genetics!  But I digress…

So I came to school with no makeup on and my hair wet; ready for my make over. Before I knew it, I was undressing in front of the Thai teachers in the corner of the television station room and being pinned and wrapped like a Christmas present (while trying to avoid being naked on the cameras which broadcast to all the televisions in the school!)  I didn’t feel quite like a princess, especially because due to scheduling conflicts, I ended up having to rush to do my own makeup and hair.  However, I did enjoy the whole event and I was told “teacha so beautifur” many many times from the teachers, students and parents.  I must have said “thank you” or “kop khun kha” a hundred times or more!  They were all delighted that I dressed up and I had many of them asking to take pictures with me which was definitely fun.  We then walked in a parade down to Kwan Phayao (the lake) so the students could do the Loi Krathong ceremony. 
One thing I realized that day is that I’m slightly glad I was never the supermodel type.  I know many young girls, including me, spent years fantasizing about being a princess, model or celebrity.  While I don’t know any women who don’t like to be told that they’re beautiful, it is somewhat exhausting being stared at and complimented so many times in one day!  Oh, I know what you’re thinking “Boo hoo! What horrible problems!”  But on a serious note, I’m not the type who likes that much attention on me and it did make me appreciative of the days when I have more privacy and notoriety.  

I ended up teaching the rest of the day in my outfit which so happened to tickle my students pink!  At the end of the day, I set down my imaginary crown and returned to the realization that I am not a princess (I’ll leave that to the Kate Middleton’s of the world!).  I am simply an English teacher in Thailand and for now, I am content with that.  Overall, it was a great experience and it was one that I definitely won’t forget.

       

Some of my students during the Loi Krathong ceremony. 

The real "Thai princesses" getting ready for the annual beauty contest.

All dressed up!

Women who grew up in the '90s in America will remember this!

"Wherever you go, there you..." Well, you know the rest!

People always glamorize traveling.  I know this because I do it, all the time for that matter.  When I hear about people’s traveling adventures or see their pictures, I have to admit that I get jealous and think “Wow, I wish I had their life!”  I’m one who always seems to believe the delusion that traveling is going to dramatically change me, as if I’ll be a completely different person when I travel.  Problems will melt away and excitement and happiness will take over every minute of my new amazing life!  I know from experience that this is not really true and yet I know I still convince myself that this is the case every time I travel.   

There is a dark side to travel.  There are moments when the cultural differences are so vast that you wonder if you’re on another planet instead of another country.  There are times when lugging your heavy luggage around to another destination makes you want to throw it all in the trash can and adopt a minimalist lifestyle.  There are times that food sickness is so bad that you want to curl up in a ball and forget this whole “seizing the world” thing.  And there are definitely moments of deep loneliness that make the comforts of home sound like nothing short of heaven.  

That being said, I think traveling is one of the most amazing things you can do with your money and free time.  I highly recommend it to everyone and anyone who is at all curious how others live and anyone who desires to see the beauty that is all over this amazing world we live in.  Traveling teaches you things that you cannot learn in a classroom.  You learn many life lessons while getting to know yourself more because you’re often put in new and sometimes stressful and uncomfortable situations.  Observing and experiencing other cultures helps you to have more of an open mind, it allows you new perspectives, a new way of looking at everything from the toilet to food to spirituality.  

The reality though, for me at least, is that the famous saying rings true “wherever you go, there you are.”  Does traveling expand you and help you grow?  Absolutely.  Does traveling open your mind and give you new perspectives about this crazy beautiful life?  Without a doubt.  However, I think many people lie to themselves and play the “I’ll be happy when…” game.  I’ll be happy when I travel or move away, I’ll be happy when I finally get my dream job, all my problems will be solved if I can just lose those ten pounds, get plastic surgery, fall in love, blah blah blah.  Just fill in the blank. 

The truth is that we can choose to be in a state of joy and grateful no matter what the circumstances are in our lives.  I am of the belief that life is like a blank canvas and we can choose to paint it (or not) any way we like.  Traveling is simply another canvas.  What I’m trying to say is that you bring to traveling, as well as anything else in life, one very important ingredient: YOU!  That means you bring your wonderful and your not so wonderful sides.  When you board that plane, you pack not only your socks and undies, but also your personality, preferences, pet peeves, beliefs, your “story”, fears, dreams and love –they all go with you.  The idea that you will finally be happy or have a new life when _____________ is basically a load of crap.    

I will leave it to the amazing travel writer Anthony Bourdain to sum it up: “Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you- it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you… Hopefully, you leave something good behind.”

  

Newsflash: Teaching is HARD!

 

Before coming to Thailand, I worked for the last year as a residential counselor working with teenage girls in the foster care system.  Needless to say it was an insane job and by the time a year rolled around, I knew I was ready to leave that field for good.  Being a little naive, I signed up to teach English in Thailand thinking it would be a cakewalk compared to my last job.  In some ways it is as I’m not being verbally assaulted or physically threatened but it is SO much more difficult and stressful than I expected.  I teach 22 classes weekly which are made up of all the 8 classes for Prathom 1 and then 7 each for Prathom 2 and 3 (aka 1^st,2^nd and 3^rd grade.  I have each class for one hour each and usually back to back.

What I’ve learned so far about teaching is that it is EXHAUSTING!  It takes a ridiculous amount of energy (or coffee in my case) to get through a single day of it.  Teaching is hard work and to be good at it, it takes dedication, enthusiasm and preparation.  It’s similar to being an actor having to do the same live show over and over, giving your all as if every audience is the first.  Most of the time, I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle.  I think especially with my Prathom 1 classes, I’m going in with a defeated mentality because it’s just tough to keep them engaged for that long.  I try to make the lessons fun by including a song (imagine me belting out “I like to eat eat eat apples and bananas” acapella while they all stare at me or worse- ignore me!), some funny pictures for the vocab words and games.  But it still gets crazy and I have very little control in my 1^st grade classes, to the point where I now have Thai teachers and interns helping me in all of my Prathom 1 classes…needless to say it’s going a lot smoother now. 

I’ve had a teaching epiphany.  I realized that I have such trouble with my Prathom 1 classes because they’re too damn cute!  I can walk into Prathom 2 and 3 and be the scary teacher when I need to be.  I yell, I tear up papers, I move kids and make them sit next to me, I take toys and rulers away, I give them the glaring “teacher look” and I scold them which is frankly why those classes go smoother.  For some reason, Prathom 1 is my teaching kryptonite.  I walk in there and they look at me with those big brown eyes and smile with their toothless grins and I just melt.  I’m a complete sucker for them and they know it!  The ironic thing is you need to be more firm and strict with the young ones to keep them on track and to keep any sense of control in those classrooms.  I’ve learned already the hard way, once you lose the control it is very hard to get it back.      

I was one of those that believed the stereotype that Asian students treat school with the utmost seriousness particularly compared to their Western counterparts.  I pictured little angels sitting upright in their chairs with their hands folded neatly on their desks, sitting quietly and ready to learn.  It has pretty much been anything but that!  I also think I was disillusioned just as many of the expat teachers are, to think that teaching was a side note to traveling around.  That’s really not the case...at all.    

Despite the difficulties, there have been awesome teaching moments where I feel that the majority of the class was engaged and learned something new and that is one of the best feelings in the world!  I can see why teachers who are good with classroom management freaking love their jobs. 

There have also already been so many comical experiences with my students inside and outside the classroom.  Most of the hilarious moments are because THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND ME!  I try to make it very simple and speak slowly but at times it goes right over their heads.  For example, the other day I went over the body parts with my first graders.  I had slides and then they all had to takes notes as I talked and pointed to different things like “eye” and “nose” and so forth.  After almost an hour of this, I get back kid’s papers with noses labeled as necks and fingers as mouths!  You just have to laugh.

If you don’t have a good sense of humor, don’t move to another country and especially don’t teach in one.  There are so many moments where I just crack up because there’s literally nothing else to do.  After weeks of classes, one of the only names I remember is one of my 6 year old’s whose nickname is Beer.  I mean, how could you forget Beer?  Especially because he’s a first grader.  I’m pretty curious how he got that nickname to begin with as the parents traditionally give out the nicknames.   

I’m fortunate enough to have amazing and welcoming Thai teachers throughout the school and specifically in my English department which make the hard days easier to handle.  They are amazing and wonderful women and I’m excited to spend time with them and get to know them better.  Oh and did I mention that I get free delicious Thai lunches at school everyday?  That helps too.    

Favorite moments with my students thus far:

1)      Having my kids touch my belly and ask if I’m pregnant…the answer is an absolute no!

2)      Every class standing to say “good morning teacha” and sounding like 40+ synchronized robots.

3)      Asking a question and getting 40 blank stares back (this happens every single day).

4)      Attempting to draw on the board and the hysterical laughs that come as a result…including from me (see below).  I didn’t know that to be a foreign language teacher you should be a decent artist which as you can see, I’m definitely not.

5)      Singing “head, shoulders, knees and toes” with Prathom 1.  They’re so cute and they were giggling like crazy!

6)      Having a 6 year old tell me in Thai that she got poop on the floor while I was in the bathroom.  EWW!

7)      Explaining and demonstrating Pictionary multiple times and kids still blurting out what they were drawing.  They definitely didn’t understand my directions…despite the repeated explanations and demos.

8)      Being so mad at a 3^rd grade class that I took a girl’s plastic ruler (who was actually being quiet OOPS!) and smashed it on the desk of a loud obnoxious kid.  Needless to say, I got their attention.

9)      Being on the phone outside and being encircled by a group of third graders who were just staring at me and touching me.  So funny!

10)   A kid yelling “Toilet! Toilet! Toilet!” as I walked into the restroom, just to show he knew an English word I think. 

11)   The naughtiest kids raising hell all through class and then coming to me with their timid voices and hands in prayer pose saying “may I go out please?”  That’s how they ask to go to the restroom.  It always annoys me…and makes me laugh at the same time.

Yeah, I wasn't kidding.  This was my attempt to draw the body!!! I had to take a picture!  It looks like an alien or just like a 2 year old drew it :)

Some of my Prathom 1 Kids.  They're a crazy bunch.  Did you notice my one foreign student?

Welcome to your new life.

I’ve been reflecting a lot this week and I realized that being here feels like I’m assuming a completely different identity.  I mean, yes of course I am the same person with a lot of the same beliefs, thoughts, feelings, etc. but in many other ways I feel brand new.  It’s almost like I’m an actor in a movie.  It honestly doesn’t feel real.  I now live in northern Thailand and I’m a teacher for a living.  Me?  Someone with no teaching experience and not that much traveling experience for that matter is now a teacher…in Thailand!  You may think “well duh” but honestly at times it still shocks me that I’m actually living and working in a foreign country.  I think and pay in Baht and I eat food spicy enough to melt glaciers.  I shop at the Thai versions of Walmart, aka Big C and Tesco Lotus.  I stop in my tracks to observe the King’s song at school twice a day (and before movies at the theater) and I hear Thai spoken around me more than English.  I see beautiful lanterns in the sky all night every night that people light for I assume although not sure: good luck, pay their respects to Buddha, as a wish or prayer.  I wai (the Thai bow and greeting) teachers and people in town probably hundreds of times a week while using one of the only phrases I know “sawadee ka”.  Daily stops to 7-11 and eating soup every single day when it’s 80 degrees outside are my new normal. 

I haven’t been homesick much at all and I think the reason for that is that I’m just using my energy to adjust to my new life.  I’m trying to find my new normal and my new routine.  I’m trying to make sense of how I fit in here when in reality I just don’t and probably won’t.  That doesn’t mean that I’m not greeted with a warm welcome virtually everywhere I go, it’s just more of a realization that I truly am an outsider here.

I do already feel changed by this experience in ways I can’t even really put into words.  I’m being challenged and pushed, somewhat violently on certain days, out of my comfort zone.  And the funny thing is I LOVE IT!  I think humans can be such creatures of habit, myself included, as it’s so easy to go for what is easy and predictable.  Some days after a particularly exhausting teaching day, I want to retreat in my apartment all night with my computer and avoid all stares and any effort in ordering food.  But I usually am able to make myself go out to eat in town with the hope of making new friends or seeing something exciting or strange. 

One thing that I love about Thailand is there is somewhat of an “anything goes” mentality in certain contexts.  Of course there are many social and cultural rules but you can also haggle almost anywhere you shop- even the malls, driving motorbikes while holding a newborn baby sans helmets is perfectly acceptable, lady boy waiters serve you dinner at your local restaurant without being gawked at and people set off fireworks left and right in public areas with not so much as a second thought from public authorities.  This is my new life. 

                                                            Ronald McDonald wai-ing. 

Culture shock OR where are the napkins?

After multiple mass emails were sent out and long winded Facebook posts filled my timeline, I came to the conclusion that a blog would be the easiest and most organized way to chronicle my time in Thailand.  I’ve been traveling and now living in Thailand for a little over a month.  So far this experience has surpassed my expectations in ways big and small and it’s still just the beginning as I have a four month English teaching contract to complete.  The first three weeks were spent attached at the hip to the other twenty something teachers in training throughout Phuket and Bangkok in a blur of class, beach, partying and waking up to do it again the next day- like a lather, rinse, repeat cycle.  As to be expected, we formed pretty solid connections only to then be separated into various provinces that none of us had ever heard of or could much less pronounce.

I’ve now been living in my town Phayao (sounds like pie-ow) for two full weeks and let me just say, it’s a VERY different world than the rest of my Thailand experience has been.  For weeks I was staying in tourist friendly areas where your average tuk-tuk driver speaks enough English to understand where you need to go and many restaurant menus are in English.  Now this is Thailand for real and it’s a whole new ballgame.  For starters, I’ve never been stared and gawked at so much in my entire life.  I feel like a celebrity wherever I go and am honestly overwhelmed from all the attention.  Phayao is a province of 400,000 but I’m one of the few “farang” (pronounced fuh-rang) meaning foreigners in town.  To add to that, unlike Los Angeles where your average girl is frying herself in a tanning salon, in Thailand and most of Asia for that matter, having fair skin is quite fashionable and “whitening” cream is in pretty much everything you put on your skin.  Therefore, with my snow white complexion, I’m considered quite a dish here.  No complaints on that front, it’s pretty nice to be told “so beautiful” wherever I go.  Literally, I get told on the daily from my students, other teachers and random men, women and children in town “soo-ay mahk mahk” (very beautiful).  That my friends will definitely never get old!  I could definitely get used to that.

It’s amazing to me that when you live in a new country, every single little thing is an exciting adventure or a daunting task.  Any sense of “normal” is utterly turned upside down.  From navigating the menus solely written in Thai, using the wonderful “squat pots” or the “bum gun” as my Canadian colleague so appropriately calls the spray hose attached to nearly every toilet here, or simply trying to find tampons which for some reason are impossible to come by in Thailand.  Every day is full of new challenges and exciting small achievements.  I have been learning the basic numbers “neung, song, sam, see….” and was ridiculously proud of myself when I asked a street vendor how much the noodles cost and actually understood her without my typical reliance on a calculator or charades.  Mind you this only happened once but it was still SO exciting for me. 

They say it’s the small things in life that bring happiness and I think that that is doubled when traveling.  It’s the seemingly insignificant moments like the smile exchange which crosses all language and cultural barriers, seeing monks bless people on the street while walking to school or popping some new unidentified concoction in your mouth and praying that it’s delicious (most of the time it is) or even that it’s just not revolting like the dried fish snack I had today that I thought was candy.  UGH, FAIL! 

Although there are many things that frustrate your average expat in Thailand, I’ve been shocked to find out that I can be surprisingly easy going and open minded when out of my comfort zone.  I think I’m adjusting quite well considering I don’t speak the language of 98% of those around me, I can’t wear tank tops because it’s scandalous to show your shoulders here, there are oodles of pork in everything which I never eat back home, I sweat profusely all the time, my peculiar “wet” bathroom which requires leaving toilet paper just outside the door, living up four flights of stairs, spending more time alone than I ever have in my life, the lack of Hot Cheetos (my guilty pleasure back home)-the list goes on and on. 

Despite all the change and adjustments needed, the ONE thing that has been my pet peeve so far is the napkin situation.  Imagine a mix between a tiny piece of scrap paper and one small thin sheet of toilet paper and you have what Thais believe to be appropriate restaurant napkins!  They do not do their assigned job well and especially because half the things I eat are crazy spicy, creating a leaky faucet situation, it is very annoying not having napkins handy!  It may seem like a silly stupid non-environment friendly thing, but I miss puffy American sized napkins.  I guess if that’s my only real complaint after being here over a month, I’m probably going to survive the next few months…maybe even thrive.